I often find in myself an ache to go to the wilderness. And I'm not talking about some cool meta-physical wilderness that is somehow an analogy of the "season" i'm in either.
I'm talking about trees and mountains and creatures with four legs; it all feels like home to me.
Intuitively I am given the impression that this longing is greater than myself. I am speaking of that particular brand of desire which transcends an individual, or even a time. The belief of an afterlife, or the desire to find a soul mate I would categorize as such.
In short, these cravings do not belong to you or to me, but to all of humanity.
Man was born into the unfinished wilderness; he awoke to a world where he was alone with God.
It is this genesis with God that I long for; the desire to be alone with God is inherently etched on the tablet of my heart.
We are unsure how long man was in this state with God, scholars presume it could have taken him years just to name the animals.
Woman was born into community; Adam, and a more finished creation awaited her crowning arrival. As such she craves this covering, this protection, this love and togetherness.
Perhaps this is why she doesn't even like to go to the bathroom alone...or perhaps for us men, such mysteries are better off unexplored.
I am not saying that she doesn't long for intimacy with God, any more than I am saying that a man doesn't desire to be with others. As a quick aside, many of you know that I have always maintained that the qualities belonging to the masculine or feminine are extremely subjective and change drastically with cultures and time; I believe the intrinsic, God given, attributions to be a much shorter list. So I will not make any conclusive statements here; but I welcome the conversation.
Jesus told his disciples: "You will leave me all alone; yet I am not alone, for my father is with me." These moments in the proverbial wilderness when we are "lonely, but not alone", are calling to me even as I write this.
For me the mountains provide me with this singular pursuit, but life affords us many such opportunities. Singleness is such a wilderness; an uncommon situation or struggle is such a desert.
In these moments I am hedged in; like the harlot wife of Hosea, my solitude separates me from all other interior interests and pursuits.
My ear is tuned only to his voice; my heart has feelings only for him...And in these moments I am reborn and I open my eyes, awaking to a wilderness all my own with God.